Talk With Your Adversaries Without Throttling Them

I almost never use this space for self-promotion, but we’ve been discussing spirituality and dialogue at www.interfaithforums/interview-zone, and I thought you might like to take a look. The moderator was kind enough to interview me on the topic, partly because I’ve been writing a book on preparing the soul for dialogue (working title: Why Can’t We Talk? Living the Way of Dialogue in a Shouting World).

God and my easily diverted brain willing, I’ll post more about this topic here as time goes on. For now, feel free to check out the interview. (You may need to register at Interfaith Forums to access the interview thread, but I’d recommend that you do; some really interesting discussions take place there.)

A Portrait of the Prophet as a Human Being

O that my head were a spring of water, and my eyes a fountain of tears, so that I might weep day and night for the slain of my poor people! O that I had in the desert a traveler’s lodging place, that I might leave my people and go away from them! For they are all adulterers, a band of traitors. (Jeremiah 9:1-2)

Have you ever been sick of someone you dearly love—but whose failings drive you nuts—and just needed to get away for a while?

The prophet Jeremiah found himself in just this situation. The people of Israel had lost their way, committing the grossest injustice and idolatry; God had withdrawn from them and warned of judgment. Jeremiah, caught in the crossfire, expresses his intense ambivalence about Israel in this passage: wanting to weep for “my poor people” one minute, dying to get away from them the next.

This is so, well, human.

The Bible is full of moments like these. The psalmist asks God to do terrible things to his enemies. Jesus, in agony, prays in Gethsemane that he may skip the cross entirely. Ruth, a complete foreigner to Israel, pledges undying loyalty to Naomi, her people, and her God. David grieves long and loud over the waywardness of his son Absalom.

I wonder how many people know about this Bible and the faith it expresses. It tells me that the journey toward God is also the journey to become fully human, fully ourselves. And that means the full range of emotions and experiences. No curse or plea or grief is too intense or too offensive for God. These things are part of us, and so God embraces them because God embraces us. They are part of being human.

Contrast this with, say, the holiday season in December. There is tremendous pressure—from our shopping malls, from the movies, from our own expectations—to be happy. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” remember? It feels as though we’re supposed to set aside our complete humanity for a shallow facsimile thereof. No wonder so many churches hold Blue Christmas services for those who find the season difficult.

I wonder what Blue Christmas attendees would think if they read about the agony of Jeremiah—if they read the story of Gethsemane as well as Bethlehem. Would it give them comfort to know that even the darker emotions are welcome in the house of God?

In this week, the holiest in the Christian calendar, those emotions find their home. Peter weeps bitterly after denying Jesus. Judas suffers extreme remorse and hangs himself. Jesus, in all his humanity, begs God to take away the shadow of the cross. In doing so, he reflects a calling that is ours as well: to bring ourselves, with all our strengths and baggage and hidden darkness, to the One who loves us without pause, without conditions, without end.

The Love Behind "God Loves You"

Maybe a friend tells you, or you read it on a bumper sticker, or you hear it in a sermon: God loves you. What’s your gut reaction?

I’ve heard the words uttered so often—and sometimes so glibly—that I draw a blank. It makes sense in the abstract. I can agree with the idea intellectually. But it doesn’t come alive for me.

Then something happens to make it come alive.

It happened last Sunday at church, when I was thinking about my Lenten vow to have more fun. (Lent for the Unusual explains the details.) This wasn’t a frivolous decision; it was, rather, about becoming fully human—and fully the person God intends me to be. As someone who suffers from an excess of intensity and often finds life a relentless grind, I have badly neglected the fun aspect of me over the years. In a way, I felt a Divine nudge to attend to this.

What does this have to do with God loves you? Think of it this way: If I’ve interpreted the nudge correctly, God actually cares whether I (and you) become fully human. In fact, God cares enough to guide us in certain directions that are good for us. Doesn’t God have better things to do? Granted, it does seem awfully frivolous in the face of war and financial disaster and other catastrophes.

Yet it speaks profoundly of a God who tends not only to his whole garden, but to every plant therein.

That “tending” also speaks to the very nature of love. Anyone can say “I love you.” It’s an entirely different matter to listen to another being, learn about her soul, and do things to bring that soul to fruition. That is love. It’s less like the automatic “I love yous” I toss out to my wife and more like the times I take care of a chore to give her more time in the garden, because the garden is so important to who she is.

God doesn’t stop with saying “I love you” or “God so loved the world” or other words. No, God acts for our good, always, even when it costs him. As we approach the Christian Holy Week, this is what we see in Jesus: a God who was willing, not only to tend to us, but to become us—to live our daily grind—and give himself away for our good and the good of the world.