Is This What Humility Looks Like?

I was humble the other day, and I want to tell you about it.

OK, that does sound strange, so perhaps a bit of context is in order. Two weeks ago, a member of a professional organization nominated me for the equivalent of a lifetime achievement award. I am quite capable of reacting badly to this sort of thing in one of two ways: with an “it’s about time they appreciated everything I’ve done for them,” or (far more often) with a reluctance to accept the nomination because, after all, it’s just little old me.

But my reaction was neither of these. Rather, it was a simple acceptance of some basic facts: I’ve been in my profession for 20 years, I spent six years on the board of the organization, it’s a small club with a limited flow of available nominees—all of which meant that I would probably be nominated at some point.

And I wondered: was this reaction an example of humility?

Not if you buy our culture’s understanding of the word. In the U.S., we generally equate humility with low self-esteem, insignificance, giving short shrift to one’s gifts and uniqueness. Does anyone really want to eat humble pie or be of humble means?

I don’t believe the saints and sages had that definition in mind when they encouraged their followers to be humble. Rightly understood, humility is simply complete clarity about our individual selves and our place in the universe. As the Rule for Associates of Holy Cross puts it, “Humility is not self-denigration; it is honest appraisal. We have gifts and deficiencies, as does everyone else. We start from there, remembering that God loves each of us with a unique but equal love.”

When we honestly appraise ourselves, we see our place in the universe quite clearly. Specifically, we see that:

• “I’m only one person.” As a result, I have only one person’s view of the world—and the views of other persons might hold just as much truth as my own.
• “I am one person.” As a result, I can make exactly one person’s difference in the world.

This kind of humility can release all kinds of potential within us. It opens our minds and our hearts to others. It enables us to let go of our need for certainty. It liberates us from feeling powerless in the face of the world’s overwhelming problems; instead, we can start on the problems before us—serving this homeless person, making this city safer. By pointing up our limitations, humility also makes us realize our need for one another, and the exponentially greater impact we can have as we instead of me.

We need this kind of humility to live in harmony with what is. The world needs this kind of humility to move forward. With humility in our souls, we can work together more effectively and come to peace more readily. It is a virtue well worth cultivating.

Out With the Stale, In With the Fresh

Sometimes a venerable spiritual practice jumps the shark—and opens a fresh opportunity to introduce people to the Divine.

This has been happening at Interfaith Partnership for the Homeless, our local homeless agency. In the absence of a clergy member at board meetings, I’ve been asked to give the opening prayer, asking God to bless our efforts, etc., etc. Perhaps this was once a valuable exercise, but now—with few connections between Interfaith and local faith communities, and many secular folks on our board—it’s lost most if not all relevance.

So a few months ago, inspired by a saint whose story I’d run across, I decided to scrap the prayer and tell her story instead.

The reaction was palpable and immediate. As the tale unfolded, I could see the faces around me relax, the eyes light up, the expressions take on the look of wonder we get when we’re looking deeply into life.

Since then I’ve told other stories to start our meetings. One involved a saint who served the homeless several hundred years ago. Another involved the lesson that a homeless man in Boston taught a tough-guy member of our church youth group. All of them include some insight about homelessness, or the human condition, or the value of each human being. Each time I see how much people welcome these stories.

This tells me two things. One involves the power of storytelling to stir us to our souls. It is at once a conduit for profound wisdom and a simple delight to the inner child. (Say the words “Tell me a story” and see how you feel.)

The other lesson has to do with this moment in time. Many thinkers believe we’re at a watershed in the history of spirituality—a time in which established faiths clear out the deadwood in their liturgy, doctrine, and practice and new forms emerge. This strikes me as especially true in the way we engage the secular world. I don’t know, for instance, that it’s most effective to “preach the gospel to all people,” especially when it implies that we have The Answer and they don’t. I see too much skepticism, if not downright hostility, in the public square for that.

So it’s just possible that overt displays of religiosity, like evangelism and public prayers, have run their course. In the marketing world, these displays are known as “push marketing”—telling your message to your audience—and “push” is out of favor. But the appeal of stories is universal. They express a desire not to sell, but to share, to genuinely connect, to “join the general conversation” with other faiths and those with no faith at all.

This could get exciting. It invites us to seek and discover new ways to share the extravagant Divine love with all creatures. In the process, it just might clear out some of our own deadwood and give us fresher, and broader, perspectives on the Divine.

What do you think? Can you see other spiritual practices that are actually blocking our way to the Divine or to others? Feel free to share them here.