Today’s Old Testament reading took my breath away, and I simply had to share a few lines from it. They speak volumes about God’s willingness to be present to every part of us, even our deepest rage, and care for us all the same. In Job, meanwhile, we get a role model for relationship and the hard work therein: a faithful soul who rants at God but will not walk away from him. May we drink deeply of such a relationship with the Divine—where we feel secure enough to be fully ourselves.
“I loathe my life; I would not live forever.
Let me alone, for my days are a breath.
What are human beings, that you make so much of them,
that you set your mind on them,
visit them every morning,
test them every moment?
Will you not look away from me for a while,
let me alone until I swallow my spittle?
If I sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of humanity?
Why have you made me your target?
Why have I become a burden to you?
Why do you not pardon my transgression
and take away my iniquity?
For now I shall lie in the earth;
You will seek me, but I shall not be.”
(Job 7:16-21)
1 comment:
YAY! I like that a lot because I think there's something very--I don't know the word for it, I guess right about having that relationship where you can rant at God but yet not walk away from him. I think too much we are taught that we must not turn our backs on God, and most of us interpret that as we must love unconditionally and unquestioningly, and to angry with God is a sin. I think in fact to feel those emotions towards God is not only healthy but necessary, because in the end if you can, and not walk away from God, it makes your faith that much deeper, like a relationship between two people who learn to fight versus those who avoid conflict at all costs. The need to rant and get angry is purely human, and as God so designed us, it only fits that he would allow and even nurture that emotion, so long as it is healthy and put to good ends. I would say Job's anger was healthy and warranted! Poor guy! I'd be worried about him if he wasn't angry with God. Also, perhaps the more you're "allowed" to be angry and rant, the less sometimes you feel the need to do so. I think of my car getting totaled (I wasn't in it): when I saw my wrecked car I thought of all the people who would get furious at this situation and start screaming, and how I was totally justified in doing so, and yet when I looked at the girl who hit my car, in shock and crying apologetically, I could feel nothing but compassion for her. It was a really nice feeling, actually, knowing I was allowed to be angry but not actually able to feel anything but compassion.
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